There’s never one moment in our lives when we turn everything around and are awesome forever and ever. I think we expect to have that turning point moment where the sun comes out and we feel a deep sense of joy, and peace, but then we “feel stuck” when that doesn’t happen. I hear this all the time when people say things like “I left my 9-5 to be a full time blogger/influencer/coach/whatever and I’ve never been happier” it glosses over the many moments of frustration and insecurity that comes with those types of gigs, making the rest of us gals feel stuck in our own growth.
Or when people say “I started doing yoga and it changed my life.” Yes, I’m sure it’s helped you, but yoga isn’t a magic wand. When we put that type of pressure on something outside of us, we give away all our power to bring about those feelings within ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great if you love yoga (I clearly LOVE yoga), but let’s not forget that with certain things we expect it to bring us closer to that elusive feeling we are after of finally having/being/feeling “IT” (whatever IT is for you).
Maybe, if you’re like me and you’ve had the though that when you finally get a pair of Luboutons you’ll feel like that gorgeous, special, successful, powerful woman you want to be. So are you after the shoes, or are you really wanting the feeling and the becoming of that desired version of yourself? When we chase after IT, we are forgetting what we really want.
So here’s 4 things to remember when you feel stuck letting external circumstances dictate your happiness:
Remember everybody poops. At the end of the day we all have insecurities. Even those who we perceive as always seeming happy, free, and fulfilled. Maybe it’s the travel yogi you follow on instagram, who is always in amazing places. Or the #relationshipgoals couples on facebook that make you wanna puke, but also make you want what they have. This is more in the realm of comparison-its, but using external expectations from other people to tell you what happiness is, will only bring you more frustration.
Set realistic expectations for yourself. This one is where I fall HARD. There’s no feeling joyful every single moment of the day. And I don’t say this to be negative, I think when we get real about our expectations that’s when we can transcend our old ideas of what happiness really is, and rather than thinking “I’ll be happy when…” or “once I get XYZ then I won’t be to stressed” or whatever you tell yourself to pass the time between now and “there” because we are always looking as “once I get there…”
Don’t do yourself the disservice of waiting on the check, the man, the job, the opportunity, the big break. Yes, I wish those things for you and more. But what I really wish for you, and for me (as I often write my content knowing it’s what I need to hear too) is for you to cultivate the art of finding happiness right now, without the check, without the man, before the job and success and big break that are ultimately coming your way. Not relying on them for your happiness (knowing fully that they are yours and are already on their way, thankyouamen).
Ask yourself this…What do you need to do right now in this minute to get you there? What new beliefs do you need to adopt? What old beliefs do you need to let go of, for you to fully know that happiness is a moment to moment thing, none of it is guaranteed. All you are truly guaranteed is this moment, so let’s practice finding that happiness we long after, right here.
Love always,
