We all have those people in our lives whether we choose to or not, who tend to bring the room down. I call them low vibe people. The type of people that no matter what the circumstance you are left feeling a little worse than when you got there. Maybe it’s time you set some positive boundaries with low vibe people.
They often mean well, and don’t intend to be a negative Nancy, but they will often find something to complain about, harp on a negative experience, or dominate the conversation entirely. I bet you can think of one or two people in your life right now that just take a lot out of you.
Family members, co-workers, clients, even friends can inadvertently sabotage your good feelings. Good feelings all add up to your greater wellbeing, so those little toxic interactions take their toll after a while.
Then there are those vibrant people, who always leave those around them feeling more uplifted and energized. I call these my “sunshine friends” because they embody the warmth and vibrant energy of sunshine. Energy exchange is fabulous with them! They lift you up, you intern feel awesome, so you bring your best energy into the environment, and there is a chain of elevation and positivity. Unfortunately, energy exchange goes both ways, and if you aren’t careful, the people who take you down, will also result in you bringing others down with your newly ruined mood.
Spending time with toxic people can actually leave you feeling physically sick. Sometimes we get tension headaches, heartburn, knots in our stomachs, or feel fatigued after being with them. You don’t look forward to these interactions, and you are left mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I don’t think I have to spell out how that will affect your overall health and wellness.
If while you’re reading this it’s conjured up some ideas of people in your life, maybe the best thing you can do for your mental and physical heath is to set some boundaries.
Here’s what you can do to create healthy boundaries with low vibe people
Time Boundaries: Decide how long you will spend time with this person, and stick to it the way you would stick to your time constraints when seeing clients or in meetings. This can be done by scheduling something right before and after you see this person. Having a firm exit plan in place will relieve some stress about interacting with a toxic person. Repeat after me: “Gosh I’d really like to hear more about your douchebag of an ex, but I already reserved a bike at Soul Cycle!”
Space Boundaries: Decide on an appropriate amount of space to put between you and the person, if and when you can. This is hard to do in a working environment when you can’t always avoid people, but being conscious of not putting yourself in their path at social gatherings is a good start. Also, having a buffer buddy with you can make interactions more bearable. Taking someone with you to a work party, or family gathering will give you an excuse to say “It was so nice chatting with you. I think I see Becky over there and I promised I’d introduce her to my dashing Tinder date.” In the digital age it’s much easier to just “hide” somebody from your feed, so there’s that option too.
Preemptive Self Care: When you know you are going into the lions den, you can take some time to prepare. Take extra good care of yourself if you know you’re going into a meeting with you boss on Thursday by taking a salt bath the night before, and giving yourself some extra time in meditation. Good sleep, eating well, and stress reducing routines can prime your nervous system to tolerate just a little more bullshit before going cray.
Avoid Stress Eating/Drinking: Ok so maybe you want to pour that extra glass of cabernet when aunt Martha has your ear at Thanksgiving. Or perhaps you’ve gone straight for the cookies after a tense meeting with your boss. These types of self medicating behaviors will only leave you feeling more vulnerable and lower vibe. Now wasn’t the whole point to NOT get sucked into the low vibe party? You are in control of how you feel, remember that! Don’t let the toxic people in your life drive you to do things you don’t really want to do. Don’t give away your power that easily.
Take a Personnel Audit: It’s smart to regularly review the types of interactions you have these people, and the mental and physical symptoms you feel as a result. Evaluating your health and energy in these situations can give you some intel on who in your life is serving you, and who is dragging you down.
Replenish Your High Vibes: Having a high vibe energy ritual for yourself after these interactions is key in dusting off the thin layer of scum you feel on your spirit after spending time with a low vibe person. Some ideas to get you started: burning sage or palo santo, rubbing essential oils on your neck and upper chest, listening to your favorite podcast or playlist, yoga, guided meditations specific for cultivating positive energy, use of crystals, the list could go on! Whatever your high vibe activity of choice, it doesn’t matter, as long as it lifts you up!
Remember friends, this isn’t you deciding to be a bitch, and you don’t have to feel guilty for protecting your energy. (PS I wrote a whole other blog post on energy protection from these types of people too if you wanna check that out).
This is you taking back your power for yourself. When you let others steal your mental energy and your good mood it’s time to decide what energies you are just no longer available for.
Now I want to hear from you! What types of healthy boundaries do you have around some low vibe people in your life?
